What I Really Think About Psychedelics

All right, so Honestly, I've wanted to talk about psychedelics for a while now I did do an episode previously where I talked about it with Zach. He's a member here at RD and we talked about kind of the trick of psychedelics and how they're more or less Shifting your state of awareness into places which you forgot exist, but you can learn to access on your own. And in general, they're just overhyped, sensationalized, trendy things to do these days for the likes and views.

But today I thought I'd actually talk a little bit more about, like, okay, here's how I really think about these things, you know? And so that's what we're gonna do. So, alright, we'll just move that there. So here's the thing, before we get into this video, I first want to preface this and say that this video is for entertainment purposes only. I'm playing a theatrical character psychedelics.

And a lot of my information is just going to be for expressing that attitude and to help visualize the craziness of it all. I'm not giving medical advice. I'm just telling you how it is. So before we get into psychedelics, um, we kind of have to talk about, you know, my reasons for getting in them, why I got in them, the conditions of how I got started, Some experiences I've had with them and, and with my conclusions that I now would say I think about them.

So, before all that, let's just dive right into the conditions of how I got started. Now, I was 20 years old, give or take. I mean, it's kind of hard, like, what exactly do you say is a psychedelic? Right, is marijuana a psychedelic? Because it sure was for me. So. If not, then we would say a little bit younger, but let's just say 20.

When I was 20 years old, I was starting a juice bar. I was starting a business where I was making a physical store and selling juice, smoothies, protein bars, and just in general being a young entrepreneur trying to figure out my way in life. And I found psychedelics at a time where I was, like, really ripe with my potential.

I just could feel, oh man, there's so many, like, beautiful things happening in the world. I'm, I'm, I'm gonna make it. You know, life is finally gonna actually work out for me for once. You know, that sort of thing. And I found psychedelics through groups of people that I didn't really feel like were actually my friends.

They were fine, but they're not really what a friend should be, you know? And so I had these experiences, more or less, where I would take psychedelics with these people, but I would kind of feel as though the way in which we were taking them wasn't quite respecting what it was or what those experiences were supposed to be.

Now, this was before my education, let's say, before I really started to think about. How you would take these things and to think about, okay, intention and saying the right room conditions, setting the right, everything that you require to make the most out of these things. And perhaps these experiences, which were kind of shady and, and not quite that right, prompted me to start viewing reality that way, maybe.

But for the most part, you know, taking these psychedelics where you're just like, Hey, what do you got? Hey, we got this or that. All right, give me to pop them in like to start having a good time. I quickly found out that that was not really the thing that you're supposed to do, and I found that out quite quickly.

And I also found out what happens in those very strange realms where your intention is not set properly and where you can start to witness the shifting and the changes not only of yourself but of others. So I had a variety of what you would might call a bad trip. Bad trips with people that didn't, I didn't trust.

And that really started to send me down this kind of spiral in a way, because you don't just come out of those things, right? I mean, I've always been pretty strong, but you don't just come out of what you would call a bad trip the next day and just pretend like everything's normal. I kind of have a memory where I just don't forget certain things, and so I'm not someone that can just forget certain experiences.

And so I had a series of bad trips, actually, when I started taking psychedelics. They actually, like, was terrible. Um, it really, it kind of shook me to the core, in a way, but it did so gently, and was more or less a slight irritation about reality, not necessarily an earth shaking, earth shattering tunnel of doom, which would later on preside me in future trips years later.

Now... It's kind of hard to talk about these experiences because I've had so much time now to process them That I think that how I would process similar things would actually change now, but during the time I was a young kid I was looking for answers. I was looking for answers, man I was I felt the whole world was lying to me about everything just everything, you know Like not even a single thing wasn't not a lie.

You know what I mean? Just Everything's a lie. And so I got drawn to psychedelics in a way, right? Because they were the first instance where I could pop something and immediately shift and change into a perceivable new dimension. Something would happen. Something would shift. And like I said before, with my friends, you know, they would pop them in such a way so that we could then...

Take them, take some drinks, go around, drive around, do all this crazy shit, go to different houses, chill, party, whatever, drink some more, maybe pop another one, smoke some, and do whatever. I mean, that's very common for like young kids to just get caught up in this whole trap lifestyle. And, uh, that was kind of what it was for a little while there, I guess.

I never was really into it. It was just the only thing to do. And so, to me, I started to realize that as I was having these certain clicking moments for me about what these things are supposed to be doing for me, I started to feel that running into these substances was, was something that was like a psychic thing.

It was meant to help me expand beyond my current limitations in form and I could utilize this as a tool for learning and evolution. And so internally, I started to view it that way. I started to view it from the instance of, oh, if I'm going to take this, like, I expect something to happen, and I expect to learn from it.

And when I started to take them on my own, and away from people, all the bad trip stuff just kind of faded away. It's like, it became something which couldn't even happen if I took it by myself, you know? So I started to come to certain conclusions, more or less, that... My bad trips were more or less a result of being around chaotic energy and as someone who is extremely Empathetic and and almost like psychically attuned to the changing dynamics of people and everything in my environment Psychedelics just amplified that and so while the people were having trips that were where they take it The floor is moving everything's waving around whoop whoop whoop whoop For me, psychedelics never were that.

I never seen any stuff that was moving in the outside. Everything that was moving was on the inside. And that was what drew me more and more to them. You see, when other people would take a substance and I was around them, they would take it and start to kind of hallucinate, and start laughing, and, oh my god, this is so funny and so strange, oh my god, whatever.

But for me, I would just be dead silent. And I would just... Watch the entire world change. I would watch myself change. I'd watch my voice change. I, I, I'd literally see my skull open up. And like I said before, it was as if these things were healing me. It wasn't something that was like a prescription medication, you take something once or twice, and whoop dee doo.

This stuff was healing me. It was healing me out of my own psychosis in a way that I had had just grown up in the place, like I told you before in my recent video, just growing up where I grew up, man. It will give you psychosis, just in general. So, Psychedelics were, were healing me, they were helping me to a certain point, process reality, they were helping me understand life, they were helping me understand my relationship to time and space, and how I, I'm at the center stage of reality, of my own reality, how I can be here now and make a decision to do something and, and the effect of what that even means just was like, wow, that's crazy.

I can just, you know, certain aspects of psychedelics, it just hits you differently. Common thoughts, common ideas, things which people take for granted on psychedelics seem like the most profound expression of what God himself is trying to tell you. It's It's like that. So, after getting away from friends, moving out on my own, just kind of developing this relationship with psychedelics further, and moving to Arizona, and so on, I really started to witness what these things were doing to me on an even more meta level.

You see, you can't just be a normal person after taking psychedelics after a certain point. You, it, it, it's not going to work. You know, you're not going to be a normal person. You can't just go out there and get a normal job and do normal things and be in the matrix. You know, it doesn't work. You're, it doesn't work.

Okay. You can't, it's not even in the realm of possibility. Like get a job. Like, what are you talking about? And see, this is where it starts the problem. You see, when I look back at it. I think that I would have been better off had I not done psychedelic experiences, or had these experiences at all. I think I would have really been better off had I just not.

Because, it's not to say that the trips were, like, too crazy. It's what they do to you at the level of when it's been so long of a time that you've been doing them. All the accrued effects that start to slowly take place within you that make you completely unrelatable to basically every person you're ever going to meet ever again.

When you take psychedelics and you are actively learning from them, actively studying how they're operating within you, recognizing the changes, going with the energy of it all, and just really on that rollercoaster, it's going to open doors for you. internally, that are so ancient, that are so beyond, that once you open those doors, you can't go back.

There's no sense of that, because you learn up to a certain level where you pass a threshold, and you just, you can't retrace your perception, it's like you have this now. And once you have it, you can't really give it back. And so, after a certain level with all this, doing psychedelics, you'll get to a place with it where you can't really relate with the world, at like not even any bit of it.

Just like I said how I started the video, how I felt like the whole world was lying to me about every possible thing which it could lie to me about. With psychedelics, that starts to be amplified, but towards other arenas of life as well. Like, the whole system starts to feel like a scam. The medical system, the money system, money feels weird to touch or talk about, you know, being on technology feels like, ooh, like, it's like, uh, something going on there.

You just start to feel very sensitive and almost too aware, too aware of everything. And like I said before, as a super empathetic and silent.

It opened doors to where I could just see so many things happening all at once that I didn't want to actively be a part of anything because why? It's much better to just be in the observer of seeing life play out and not necessarily be the participant of any one thing. Because when you're just the watcher of reality, it's, it's much easier of a, of a position to do that than to do anything at all. And so a lot of these subtle effects will take you down this place where you'll, you'll just slowly start to shift and morph into someone that actually can't really do anything at all.

It's really strange. Um, it, it happens to basically everyone, um, you know, in regards to, if you don't, If you take it outside the medical context and don't take it with like a therapist and like try to integrate it and still be in the matrix, you know, maybe that can work for you, but when you're just popping them and trying to really deeply think about your life, you'll realize that you don't really want to be a part of what this life is because so much of it is wrong.

And that's what I started to really recognize about life and reality. And again, why I said that, I would probably retrace these and wish I had never taken them. Because it slowly changes your relationship to people. Changes your relationship to a job. It changes your relationship to night and day, and timelines, and deadlines, and time in general.

It makes you spacey. It, it takes up all of what you are. Blasts you out to the edge of the universe and then you come back from the trip and parts of you still exist there that you then need to go retrieve. And so you take it again to go blast yourself out to go retrieve some but each time you come back with new parts and you come back also leaving new parts that you left there and you get some and it's like this continuous, endless phase of rediscovering yourself but yet never really getting there.

Never really retrieving all of yourself because if you retrieved all of yourself, you probably wouldn't need to do the psychedelics. So you have to keep on doing them to, you know, find yourself. And it's just one big whirlwind of stuff that when you're in it feels so real. And so I guess we'll talk a little bit about.

Some of the experiences I've had on this stuff. Cause I mean, it starts to get crazy, but to further outline and demonstrate here my viewpoints a bit more, you know, because I think it's important to do that. So I'm trying to decide what experiences I should highlight because when I look at each and every single one of them, it's like, I don't know which one to choose.

In a way, right? Because they were all impactful and helped me in some way, but now I don't think I see any value in any of them. And it's kind of a strange thing about psychedelics because whatever you're tapping into feels so... It feels like it was like, that was the truth. I just touched, like, the mechanics of God or something.

I was right there. And I need to go back again. You know, it always feels like that, psychedelics, and, and now, because I don't have that mechanism within myself who views reality that way, it's like, it's hard to find the profoundness of the psychedelic experience because I'm not like, an addict like that.

You know what I mean? It's like, I couldn't care less, and so, what does it really mean if that's my state now? But I guess I'll talk a little bit about, you know, what some experience I've had, because I think it is important to outline the absolute sanity of it all. So here's the deal. Okay. I guess we'll talk about this one and this may be one of my more impactful trips, but I mean, we'll, we'll see, we'll probably get to some other ones.

I had this trip where this was again in my early twenties when I still had the juice bar. And on the weekends I was essentially just trying to take it and you know escape for a little bit reprocess and set goals for my week and just kinda do that. But I had this trip where I may or may not have gotten the compound and I went on a walk.

And I went on a walk to this place, which started to kind of be my casual place, started to kind of be my spot that I would always hang out at. It was this forest, and it always, there was this guy who lawn mowed in between different alleyways and pathways, and there were sculptures around, and it was just kind of like a very zen place to be.

You could go there basically anytime you want, so long as it was within the hours, and just kind of hang out, and it was open to anyone. And so I spent a lot of time there when I wasn't at the juice bar, and during the time I was billing it. But I decided to go there one time at night when I was, you know, just fresh off a tab.

And, uh, I went there, and as I started to start to feel it, and walked into this area, it's like everything changed. You see, I had been to this place. Many different times before. But when the psychedelic hits you, everything is new. Even places that you've been before. And so I'm there, just walking along, like, the pathways in the forest. Bunch of little trees, and there's also a lot of open fields as well.

And I'm walking, and the moon is out. And it's like a full moon. I didn't plan this, I didn't you know, whatever. I mean, I'm just I thought I should just do this tonight, make it work, whatever. Full moon out, just shining so brightly upon the entire earth, and I'm just there in a field, walking through different forests, and walking through different pathways carved out, and I'm just chilling and starting to really feel, feel things, you know?

And, this was really like my usual thing to do, not this particular place, but I would do this quite frequently actually, where I'd just walk around, take them, And just try to process my life a bit, but this one was different. Now, it was different for a variety of different reasons. And here is mainly the main reason, I guess.

Um, as soon as I enter into this field, where I'm just fresh off it, you know, I'm fresh off the trip, I'm like buzzing out, you know, and it's peaceful and it's beautiful. I was in this field And the moon was right there, it was a perfectly clear sky. And it was like, I'm not sure how I got here. And not meaning like, how I walked here and got into the field.

I mean, I'm just like, not sure how I got here. You know? Like, how did all this arrangement of this time, which we've linearly gone through, end me up to this current position now where I'm aware of my own being? Like, how did I get here? And during these times of question that I was just sitting there, even talking to myself a little bit, just look up at the sky, looking around, the trees, they started to change.

See, I started to look in every single direction and it's like the trees. Started to create these cloned maps of each other to where everywhere I looked I was looking at the same like few stitches of trees and it was like a hologram a hologram was all around me and I was just looking around and I started to not even know where I came in from where my path was and I was just confused and I was sitting there and I would walk around the perimeter and look up at the moon and look up at the tree and I was just confused.

For like, probably 20 30 minutes straight. Like, where did I go? I, I can't see. There, there's something blocking my vision. And so, I started to kind of panic. I started to feel like, oh man, like, what the fuck is happening here? And so, I remember this guy, the owner of this, you know, whole place or whatever. He told me that there was a negative vortex around this area, and he poked him with a stick or something, had some guy come out and say, here's where it is, and he never really knew where it was, they just sort of like, alright, maybe it's here, whatever, and I remember him telling me that a long time ago before ever coming here, and I, I seen that vortex.

And it's kind of strange because before I even really recognized that I started to feel a sensation that I was being pulled. Like I was being pulled into the ground, like something was pulling me into the ground. And so I decided, well, I just need to chill or do something to kind of escape from all of this.

And so I just sat there on the ground, laid on the ground, my arms like against the floor, As I looked up at the sky, and it was the most incredible thing because as I was looking up at the sky and I was extending myself in all the large grass and was just on the floor, I became the earth. I literally became the earth.

It's like the crust of the earth and what's behind the dirt. Felt like it was two feet away, and then it was pure plasmic energy. It almost felt like that's all the earth was, was just like a couple feet down. I mean, that's crazy, but you have to understand in the psychedelic context, that's what it was.

And when I was just sitting there in the ground, laying down, I started to connect with it almost like it was charging me. And, and not in some weird, like, hippie sense, like, grounding and all this, like, it was, it was actually, like, plugging into my body and charging me. It was doing something to me and healing me in some way.

And so after, you know, having that experience for a while and chilling around, hanging out, whatever, I decided to get up, I'm like, okay, I'm, I'm like, I am the sky and I'm the earth and I'm the in between all at the same time. That's strange. And so I get up from this and start to like, okay, I feel better now.

I'm more calm and chill. And then I started to almost get into a type of ancient posture within myself. It felt like how I was looking out my eyes was like I was an ancient king or something. It was really strange. And I started just like kind of think and act differently and like look differently.

Everything about me just started to feel different. And I remember just starting to kneel to the ground. And it's like something just took over. I just remembered something and started to act in a type of autopilot mode. And I just kneeled on the ground, and put my head on the ground, and just started praying to the earth.

And as soon as I started doing that, my, what you call your third eye, whatever, opened up, and it's like I was staring into the earth. I was staring into the earth and it was this red, cosmic energy, and it's like I could feel what it was trying to tell me, you know, just like utilizing my forehead to stare into the ground and open up that space.

And the weird thing about this is as soon as I made that connection, I mean, cause you could try this right now and you're just going to like be staring at dirt. I mean, it's not going to do anything. But. But when energy is present in a certain type of way, it will change how you interact with the laws of physics and the laws of how we perceive this reality and things will just be different and you'll have new powers and new abilities.

It just, it's a thing. So as I'm staring into Wawawa, and, I didn't know what I was doing, but it was basically sending sine waves and pulses to my brain, and it was just furthering this teleportation into the earth. It's like I was accessing an inner dimension of the earth through sound, and I was saying things in a language which I can't even begin to understand. Because it's so beyond what words do as words are so declarative about such boring things. In this realm of communication, it's, it's something else. You know, you're tapping into something else. Just, that's how it is. It's a realm of where thoughts become forms instantaneously. And so, I remember this.

You know, I remember having that experience. And it really... It shaped me in a brand new way. It, it, it showed me so many things about this and it's not really even the craziest part. But after this experience and it was starting to kind of wear down a little bit, there was this other edge of the forest that I finally found a way to like I found my path again and I started to go into another field where it was a smaller field or a forest surrounded again.

And I was just like in this space just like by these, Small trees kind of looking around like starting to like okay, it's starting to kind of come down or whatever the moon's up there I'm chilling Whoa, dude, you know, that kind of thing. And it was so interesting because I remembered this exact place that I'm in right now.

You see, it never clicked to me before at this point in time that this forest, this place that I'm currently in right now, when I was in the trip, this was a place that I had, I had always gone to before. When I was a young kid, you know, I had trouble in school. I, I really. School is not good for me. I, I really did not, I didn't belong there.

And there were several times in which I skipped school. And, you know, I'm not going to go home, so where are you going to go? Are you just going to walk around town to some spot where you can hang out till, you know, school's done or something. And then, whatever. And I remember that there were a number of times in which I walked to this exact forest.

And just, you know, was there as a kid, and sometimes I'd cry. Sometimes, you know, I would just, I don't know, I would just feel deeply about life and reality like I didn't belong here. And I'd go to this very particular spot in this forest, and in that moment when I was taking the trip, it's like I connected the pieces for some reason, because I never really knew why I was drawn to this place before.

You know? It's like I didn't know why I felt this connection, but then once I stood there, I remembered, and I remembered things that, like, why I would go to the forest when I was younger. I remember, like, one time some kid was bullying me or whatever, and I, you know, wanted to fight him back, but I wasn't strong enough or something.

So, I wanted to practice before, you know, I could fight him or something, you know, defeat the enemy. A very archetypical expression or something. And I remember I went to this forest and I like practiced karate, you know, I like was just a young kid and just like trying to throw punches and kick things around and all this type of stuff and do all those jumps, jump flips where you do a front flip and kick at the same time or whatever.

And I remember this when I was on the trip. I was like, Oh man, like I remember that. And then in that moment, I almost again, something started to take over where then I started to do a jump, flip, kick thing, a punch, and it's like I, it's like I remembered that I became what I always wanted to be, but at that time I couldn't see.

And so I was having this strange delay of time. It's like, whoa, like I was a young kid and now I'm an older person and it just shows there's this. phase of time that you go through where whatever moment you're going through right now is always temporary and In the future something more significant will be the case if you continue on And that was basically about it.

I mean there's a few other different things that happened there, but When I say that had trips that like when I say I've had 300 trips I'm kind of talking and saying that I've had 300 trips that are of exactly this type of nature. That are exactly, like, like this in some variation of craziness, of wild, ecstatic self expression, opening portals and gateways into internal dimensions, contacting aliens from the inner earth, whatever.

You know, it's not just a microdose trip in. Ooh, man, the fuzzy floor is moving around. For me, they were healing me. They were taking me places that I remembered. They were showing me the way. It was showing me what I had done wrong, what I had done right, where I'm supposed to go now. And each of these experiences took me, took me to a place where I was getting deeper and deeper into myself.

And so I could talk about another trip, and another one, or another one, I could go on, I could make my whole YouTube channel about every single trip I've ever had, and that could just go on to be a thing. But as I look back at it now, you know, the trips, while they are impactful, while they help you, while they help rewire certain aspects of your life and reality, when I really think about them, you know, It's not like they actually tangibly helped me.

And I mean it more like this. You see, whenever you just take a substance and you'll have this tremendously profound experience and, you know, you, 24 hours later, you come out of it and you still have lingerings of it, but then, you know, another 24 hours goes by and then it's like basically gone. Um, it sort of gives you this feeling like, oh man.

Like, again, I'm in the matrix right now. I need to escape, like, I need to go back to that mode where I'm recollecting my soul and figuring out every aspect of my being of how I've been traumatized or cybernetically entangled with some weird quantum whup whup whup whup whup, whatever, you know? You just feel like, oh man, I'm, I'm, I'm missing out.

Like what am I doing? Working a job? No, that, that's, that's not my life. Like, my life is this and this and this, and you, you slowly start to fade away into the endless journey of the self discovery of your full potential. But it never takes you anywhere deep, because all you're doing is you're popping a tab, popping a mushroom, and getting a quick something, and it helps you to whatever degree you think it helps you during the time you're doing it, and then it's gone.

And it just stays gone. And you take the next dose so that it can come back and it comes back. It shows itself as a fixed place, which apparently does appear to exist. It becomes consistent and reliable, but it slowly burns you out. It becomes this realm, which is like a gated realm. It's almost an untouchable place.

It's a place which only exists. To the extent of how much you want to really dive into that place, but you can't stay there forever. It's more or less the realm of where the gods are interacting with. But you, as a human, you can't be there all the time. In fact, it seems like you're only meant to go there one or few times.

And that's about it. And, For me, I always tried to force that experience. I always tried to force the learning. I thought that, really, you just pop it, and you get healed. And there, like, now I'm healed. Don't have to do anything. And it really, for me, was like that. It felt that way, you know? There'd be times where I'd take psychedelics where I would know at each phase of what was going to happen to me.

And how I would shift and change, and what the effects would be like, and I could perfectly and consciously describe them as they were happening. In terms of what's happening to my DNA right now, what's happening to my oxygen levels, what's happening to my blood flow circulation, how is all this changing my heart rate, how is it changing my breathing patterns, how is my vocal cords changing, how are all my energy structures aligning internally and shifting around, and what process that's tapping me into.

I started to get hyper conscious and aware of the self and energy and the body relationship and all these things. And that's why I kept on doing them. Because they were actually healing me. They were making me more intelligent, more smart, more energetically aware. They made me more of everything I already was.

But it never stays and it never had a chance of ever staying. See, when I would take psychedelics, like I said before, I knew every aspect of what it was going to do to me before I even did it. I mean, that was probably after the 50th time to get to that level of experience. But I knew if I pop this, I know exactly what's going to happen to me.

There was no mystery to it anymore. It was a fixed and stable psychological place and it was beyond psychology. It was really... tapping into the metaphysical constructs of how we're animated in this realm. It was that kind of stuff. And so I would take them and I kind of have this like little pain here in my left side and a pain here up here and, and just like different areas around my body, whatever.

And when I would take them, I would feel these different areas in my body kind of tense up, squeeze. Rotate, change, shift around, and it's like it would take the entire energetic structure of my body and flatten it, compress it, and straighten it up, allowing for energy to fully be able to move through me.

You see, this never really happened for other people around me that were taking these things. They, they just like, they got high, but for me, it was healing me on such deep, And metaphysical and genetic and ancient levels that I had to continue. And so I did. But ultimately I came to the conclusion really that I don't want to do these things anymore.

Because of the meta effects that it's going to do for you when you're so involved in them. It came to the point where I could just be homeless and I wouldn't even care. I could not make money for an entire week, and whatever. I could just lay down at the forest and chill, go to coffee shops, just drink coffee all day and not even eat food.

Whatever. Like, it just kind of came to this point where, like, nothing really mattered because I was never really here. I was always in the psychedelic realm pondering my soul's mission. Which felt very real. It felt like that's the only thing to do. Everyone else is like in the matrix. You know, everyone else is like, What are you doing?

You're working a job. Selling your soul for time. Or selling your soul for money. Utilizing all your time. Like you're gonna die. And you're unhappy. You should be more like me. Kind of a thing, you know.

But one thing I realized is, As you get more and more away from society and the traditional civilization that we're in, you abstract your character out to such crazy levels to where it's very hard to go back. You can't go back into the Matrix. You can't go back to what other people think they call life is and what their life is all about.

None of it makes sense, you know? For what? You just start to see the reality of things but simultaneously it's hard for you to contain or package that reality because the reality that you really want takes hard work, dedication, discipline and all the criteria that you start to slowly lose from yourself as you are basically involved in this process of the psychedelic awakening.

You lose all of those really great qualities. That I had because you are chasing this ephemeral state of being, which you sometimes are in contact with and sometimes not. And it's like always trying to contact God, but it's never there long enough to form that connection and make it be something that is real.

It's very strange, you know, and so with psychedelics. It's not like there's something that I'll say is all bad, but I've had so much experience with them that it's basically to the point now where I wouldn't really do them again and I don't really care. Because I know exactly what would happen if I take them, and I know exactly what would happen if I take them and come off of them, and I know the difference between that.

And a life just being sober from it all, no alcohol, no drugs, no, just nothing. You're really aware of the actual screen of reality. Reality is a screen. There's things in which I have learned and I remember about, you know, from those places that I now take into my life now, but I couldn't take all of what I've learned there because so much of it is so.

Intangible, that if you truly learn all of what actually is going on in those realms, you couldn't, you can't come out as a normal person. Because being normal in today's society, and whatever that is, can't exist together. It doesn't work. There is no normal. When, when you've taken psychedelics like that, so many of them.

There is nothing normal to return to about reality or life or any of it. There's just nothing. Nothing is normal about this place. And, when that's your view on reality, it's very hard to do anything. Like I said, it, get a job, pay rent, like, afford food for yourself, take care of yourself, even on like a hygiene level, like, Try to care about anything that's not related to the self discovery of your own potential.

No, it's just nothing becomes important. Everything else becomes secondary to your primary goal, and you become the watcher of your reality. You're watching and waiting for things to happen, but nothing happens. Because all those characteristics of yourself have been totally poked out. To want to actually take action in life because you'd rather just watch how God wants to move through you but then God never quite does it how you think it's going to do it because it always requires of you to take the next step and meet it.

But like I said, all those qualities kind of start to go away. I mean, it's very reminiscent in what you see like in hippie culture. All I do is like smoke weed, and chill, and listen to music, and hang out, and it's like, like the stoner vibe. I mean, I was never that. But I felt the effects of what these things do to me as what, when I was a normal person.

So you gotta be careful with psychedelics because it's not that the experience themselves are terrible. They're actually quite exhilarating. And you learn so many useful things in those places. But, what you take back is very limited, and what you actually can take back, that can work for you so that you still persist in a normal way, is very small.

So small in which there's basically no utility to them at all. It's weird, you know, thinking about these things, you know.

Anyway, I'll probably do another episode talking about other experiences, but, you know, it's uh, you know, they're crazy. Psychedelics are crazy and, uh, do what you want with them. But for me, I'll be honest, I'm not really too interested. Nope.